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Don’t Fear the Reaper

I was really upset when Showtime decided to cancel “Dead Like Me” back in 2004. I had finally found a show with a good plot, good character development, and superb writing wrapped up neatly in a comedy wrapper. And then almost as soon as I had found this perfect show, it was gone. Wikipedia had this to say about possible reasons for its demise:

There were several inconsistencies in the series which, rumor has it, contributed to its cancellation: We are told gravelings can vaguely be seen “out of the corner of the eye”, yet several episodes suggest otherwise. We are told reapers can only reap souls assigned to them; some episodes follow this rule (and found the plot on it) while other episodes prove the opposite. Reapers have no special powers except fast healing, yet at one point reapers sit on a virtually unclimbable tower in the middle of the city without being noticed in broad daylight.

My response to this? So what! Since when does a TV show have to be consistent? We will find inconsistencies in every movie and TV show we watch if we look for them. With “Dead Like Me”, the show was put together so well that it is easy to look past any inconsistencies and see the show for what it is: Fantastic Entertainment!

I bring this up now because the Sci-Fi Channel will start airing repeats of “Dead Like Me” starting on Tuesday, July, 18th. I highly suggest that you watch this show. Do what you have to do; set your VCRs (if you still have this archaic and antiquated technology), set up your season passes or schedule your DVRs and prepare to be amused by this wonderful show.

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My Own Private Idaho

My trip to Boise was so much fun. My biggest regret was the fact that I couldn’t spend more time there. It was so nice seeing old friends and co-workers. I was greeted by so many friends my first night. Even my old boss decided to pay a visit. I will say that the whole experience inflated my already over sized ego. My vacation was one party after another, and I am really glad I went.

Being back in Boise made me question my reasons for leaving. I don’t think I should be in Utah right now. Boise feels like home to me. It feels more like home than Southern California. I left DirecTV for selfish reasons. I do not think I made the right decision when I left. T-Mobile turned out to be a huge mistake, so I took the first job that was offered and that was in Utah. So here I am. I did want to go back to DirecTV, but I always assumed that I burned too many bridges by leaving. Turns out this may not be the case. After talking with several employees, it seems like there may be a chance for me to be a Team Leader in that building again. I, of course am not getting my hopes up, however, this would be excellent for me if it were true.

Don’t get me wrong, I do like my job now. The problem I have been facing lately is the fact that it bores me. The Team Leader position at DTV was never boring; never a dull moment. Here I have practically no responsibility. I come to work, earn my paycheck, and then leave. I have no opportunity to make someone smile and laugh or leave some random, unwanted pearl of wisdom. I miss that. I miss making a difference. I miss DTV.

So what do I do now? Where do I go from here? Do I move back? In the last 5 years I have moved across state lines six times. Moving back to Boise would be move number seven. I don’t even know if I have the energy in me to do it again, let alone the money to cover moving expenses.

Only time will tell how this will all play out, but I think it’s obvious what I want to do, for now. I need to just make up my mind and figure out what I want in life.

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Pardon Me

Have you ever come to the realization that if anyone knew exactly what was going on in your head they would understand how neurotic you really are? Every day that goes by I realize more and more how crazy I am. I am not normal. There is something wrong with me.

Now the fact that I am aware of this is at least the first step on the path to recovery.

Here are some things that I do that are kind of weird:

Whenever I am smoking a cigarette while I’m driving down the freeway, it is my goal to make it last at least 7 exits. If I am done with it before 7 exits I get really disappointed. How did I come up with 7? I have no idea.

Whenever I am in the car by myself I make up my own words to songs on the radio. Sometimes I even laugh out loud at myself when I hear what a dork I am. Why do I laugh out loud? Because it’s funny!

I sometimes dream about what it would be like to have been born 300 years in the future. I envision a world without war, violence, hunger, greed and I want to be part of it. I admit this mainly stems from my love for all of the “Star Trek” Series. I think this planet is capable of peace, and I wish I could be around to see it happen.

I reorganize my wallet at least once a week. I also clean out my computer desk drawer and reorganize it. I think I suffer from a minor case of obsessive compulsive disorder. If ever there are 2 objects on my desk pointing in dissimilar directions, it will bug the snot out of me. Because I am lazy, however, I usually don’t get up to fix it, which is why I go through life with constant discomfort and disappointment.

I have come so close to buying the “Magic Bullet” blender from the late night television advertisements. The nacho cheese they make looks so good.

I find myself more attracted to women who are already in relationships. This has been true for years. I am pretty sure this makes me a bad person.

This is just a small taste of how crazy I am. Maybe in future entries I will let you in on more secrets.

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Open Road Song

Tonight I feel ambitious
And so does my foot as it sinks on the pedal
I press it to the floor
I don’t need a girl don’t need a friend
Cause my friend lonesome’s unconditional
We’re flying forever bored
And for a moment I love everything
That I see and think and feel
I love my broken side view mirror
Cause it’s so perfect
I’m so perfect, you’re so perfect, you’re not here
I hear the change in gears

Actually my car wasn’t changing gears at all. My check engine light came on last week. I figured that since my car was still running perfectly and was not overheating that it was some simple fix. Being the responsible car owner that I am, I decided to take it to Auto Zone for a free check engine light test. Of course, they didn’t have the correct codes for this particular issue. They told me I would have to take it to a dealer to get it checked out, but that they could see that the issue was something to do with a transmission sensor. Saturday night, on my way home from work my car started running really poorly. It was constantly at 5k RPM’s when I was only doing 40mph. Then I started smelling something funny from up under the hood. “We’ve got a piper down, I repeat, the piper is DOWN!”

My pile shakes as I hit 35mph on the open road.

To make a long story short, my car is drivable again. I only had to spend $640 to make this possible. I hate car dealerships, they always bend you over. I will say this though; they were fast and very good about shuttling me around when my car was in their care. Also, my car is running better than it has in a long time. You can’t put a price tag on that. You can, however, put a price tag on a transmission solenoid sensor replacement and transmission flush, and apparently that price is $635.83.

Good thing for me I have a money tree in the back yard that I can hit up whenever it’s convenient. I should get one for my parents, since they constantly reminded me when I was a kid that they didn’t have one, especially around Christmas time. Maybe I will get them their own money tree for Christmas this year.

So now, it’s time for a cruise on the open road. I will hopefully be making my way up to Boise in the near future.

I crack a window and feel the cool air cleanse my every pore
As I pour my poor heart out
To a radio song that’s patient and willing to listen
My volume drowns it out
But that’s ok cause I sound better then him anyway any day
Yeah my voice is sweet as salt
I search for comfort and I’ve found it where I’ve found it many times before
Times before can be forgotten

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Days Go By

Days go by and still I think of you, days when I couldn’t live my life without you.I am now living in Utah. I have been here for almost 2 weeks. Things are definitely different. Different job, different state, different environment. My car almost ran out of gas the other day, so I pulled up into a gas station to find it was closed! A gas station was closed! Welcome to Utah!

I miss all my friends in Boise. I made a lot of good friends out there. I can’t believe I lived in Boise for almost 3 years. I normally don’t stay in a place long enough to make the high caliber friends that I made, but Boise was the exception. I had a good thing going for me there, but I needed a change. I felt too stagnant. I have done some soul searching. I think I am somewhat afraid of being happy. I don’t know what to do when I’m happy. It feels wrong. When things are complicated and confusing and difficult I know what to do. Those types of situations I am comfortable with because I have been dealing with those types of situations for the past decade.

Thank you to all of you who came out to Lindy’s on my last night in Boise. I appreciate all of you so much. In a month I will be heading out there for an extended weekend. I will make sure Thursday night at Lindy’s is off the hook. Tell Wendy I’m coming!

Days go by and I get more comfortable with being out here. It almost feels like I never left. I have hooked up with my old friends out here and been having a blast. I have been hanging out with Wes, and Kris, and even Ryssa. Today I put my new computer desk together so I no longer have to sit on the floor to get online.

Now that I am closer to home I need to plan a trip to California. There are a lot of people out there that are important to me that I haven’t seen in a while.

You are still a whisper on my lips, a feeling at my finger tips, pulling at my skin. You leave me when I’m at my worst, feeling as if I’ve been cursed by the bitter cold within.

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Traffic in the Sky

There’s traffic in the sky
And it doesn’t seem to be getting much better
There’s kids playing games on the pavement
Drawing waves on the pavement
Shadows of the planes on the pavement
It’s enough to make me cry
But that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
Maybe it’s a dream and if I scream
It will burst at the seams and
This whole place will fall into pieces

I moved away from home in California 5 years ago to start a new life and clean up my act. I thought it was a good idea. It took 3 years and 4 moves later to finally clean up, and even still I am not the best person. I still have my immaturities and rough spots.

I have become real good at one thing over the last 5 years though. Moving. Disappearing. Changing. Not only have I become good at it, but I even enjoy it. I like the look of my car when it’s packed full of my life’s belongings. I like the feel of the open road, knowing that when I reach my destination I have a new life waiting for me. Wait. A new life? That’s not right. Have I become so diluted as to think that changing my surroundings will fix me? Shouldn’t I have figured out by now that moving does not solve anything? But, then again, getting out of California was good for me, right?

Puzzle pieces in the ground
but no one ever seems to be digging
Instead they’re looking up towards the heavens
with their eyes on the heavens
The shadows on the way to the heavens
It’s enough to make me cry
But that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
The answers could be found
We could learn from digging down
But no one ever seems to be digging

I leave Boise on Sunday. I am moving back to Utah. Why? That’s an extremely good question; one that I am not sure I know the answer too. It just feels right to me. I am done with the call center supervisor gig for now. I am ready for a change in careers. I want to get back into technology. I want to be closer to home. With the job in Orem, I will be doing what I love, and will not be responsible for anyone else but me. There is a lot of stress I feel now that I won’t feel at this new job.

Words of wisdom all around
But no one ever seems to listen
They talk about their plans on the paper
Building up from the pavement
There’re shadows from the scrapers on the pavement
It’s enough to make me sigh
But that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
The words are all around
But the words are only sounds
And no one ever seems to listen

So many of my friends in Boise tell me I am making a bad decision. They think I am running away from my problems instead of confronting them. I don’t think that is the case at all, in fact I am not even sure what problems they think I’m running away from. I have made some bad relationship decisions lately, and have been struggling at work, but nothing that I need to run away from. This is a good opportunity for me. This move is calculated. I just have to be careful about future moves. I can only stretch myself out so much. It does take a large amount of energy to adjust to a new place and new people. I might get to the point where moving for a job opportunity just isn’t worth it.

If you keep adding stones, soon the water will be lost from the well.

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Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

The last few weeks have been really fun. I am now on the third and final 3-day weekend in a row. Yesterday was my last day in training. We had a really awesome graduation ceremony at work. After work the entire crew decided to go out for “a couple” drinks. I am really excited about being their coach. They are a fantastic group of individuals who work hard and strive for the best. This is the last time I am able to hang out with them in this capacity because as of tomorrow I become their supervisor. So last night we cut loose!

Now that I think about it, I have been doing a lot of cutting loose lately. Last weekend was new years eve. What a crazy night! Bottles, cans, keg, shots, mixers, you name it… we had it! I knew the party was off to a great start when we discovered the puke in the laundry room. (And we still don’t know who did it!)

I was told that I kind of played bartender for the first half of the party, that is, until I got too drunk to even speak clearly. You see, I made up a drink while I still lived in Utah that people seem to enjoy. You too can make this special drink! Just follow along with these 5 simple steps (I make learning fun!):

Green Caribbean

1. Get a really big glass with ice.
2. Pour in a lot of Bacardi O (or any orange flavored rum for you frugal types)
3. Pour in a lot of Malibu Rum (cheap stuff works too)
4. Add Mountain Dew (almost to top of glass) and mix
5. Add 1 shot of Midori Melon Liqueur (do not mix)

There was another drink I made that night. This is a drink I made for Ashley that got her tilted! I don’t have a name for it yet, but it’s really simple to make; just a little expensive, heh. Start off with a bottle of Remy Martin VSOP Cognac (See, we are already off to a great start). Mix it with Wal-Mart generic brand guava nectar. About 1 part Remy to 2 parts guava. Yummy!

It is time to get back to business though. Training is over. Play time has ended. No more partying for Richie, not until I get settled in. I want to really excel at this new job. I have high expectations of myself. Ok, so, I will have the occasional shot of tequila or five.. nothing wrong with that!

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Going to California

I have been counting down the days for a long time now, but I have almost reached an exciting milestone: the 24 hour mark. In just over 24 hours I will be getting on a plane to go back home. This is when anticipation becomes strongest. I will be completely worthless tomorrow at work. I will not be able to focus on anything except my trip. This happens every time I go home to visit.

I have not made it home in over a year and a half now. It actually feels longer. A lot has happened since my last trip. I was promoted to Coach, then Team Lead Upgrade, then Permanent Team Leader. I have moved. I bought a new car. I got a real checking account.

Made up my mind to make a new start, going to California with an aching in my heart. Someone told me there’s a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair. I’ll take my chances on a big jet plane; never let them tell you that they’re all the same.

–Led Zeppelin

And I can assure you, no jet plane is the same. I will be flying on a Bombardier Q400. From the pictures I have seen, and the stories I have heard they are noticeably smaller. Hopefully my fat ass will fit in one ok!

I will not be able to sleep tonight, which is unfortunate because I have been unable to sleep for the last few nights. Home is all I can think about. Home is where I need to be right now.

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams, telling myself it’s not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

I just can’t wait…

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Ants Marching

The week ends, the week begins. Take these chances. Place them in a box until a quieter time.

This week everyone is talking about deviantart.com. The community is up in arms because the infamous Yellow Alien has been let go. It is a sad time. What is sad about it is a lot of people are choosing sides. People are stirring up emotion and propaganda to show support for Scott or Angelo. I wish they would realize that no one person made DeviantArt the success that it is, and no one person leaving DeviantArt will be the end of it.

It was nice to be able to have a chat with Mikey, Chad, and Simon the other night. It gave us the opportunity to catch up on old times and discuss this devart situation. It was hardly negative, mainly citing nostalgic references that brought plenty of smiles to my face.

It feels like to me that the last of the originals are gone. We are spread out. We are lurking in the shadows. Every once in a while you might run into one of us, and you might remember the name, but you are not exactly sure why.

Lights down. You up and die.

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Banana Pancakes

Can’t you see that it’s just raining? There is no need to go outside.

Actually, I love the rain. It reminds me of high school. Rainy days at school were the best. There was a different attitude all around. The atmosphere changes when it rains. There were more smiles. Even the teachers were nicer.

I am still at peace when I wake up to the sound of raindrops. It tells me that it will be a good day. I reminisce about the days of high school and how everyone is in a good mood. Work is not like that. Maybe it’s an age thing, or maybe it’s a work thing, or maybe it’s even an Idaho thing… but there is not a contemporary love for rain that I once shared when I was younger.

The rain makes me want to sleep in, make banana pancakes and pretend like it’s the weekend. Instead, I do the responsible thing and head to work. Maybe that’s why everyone is so upset on rainy days. They all shared my idea of sleeping in, but couldn’t.

The next time it rains think back. Remember of when you were a kid. Remember how much fun it was to run, and dance, and sing, and laugh in the rain. And, don’t sleep in. Wake up early and make those banana pancakes. At least you wont go to work on an empty stomach…