Categories
general

Going to California

I have been counting down the days for a long time now, but I have almost reached an exciting milestone: the 24 hour mark. In just over 24 hours I will be getting on a plane to go back home. This is when anticipation becomes strongest. I will be completely worthless tomorrow at work. I will not be able to focus on anything except my trip. This happens every time I go home to visit.

I have not made it home in over a year and a half now. It actually feels longer. A lot has happened since my last trip. I was promoted to Coach, then Team Lead Upgrade, then Permanent Team Leader. I have moved. I bought a new car. I got a real checking account.

Made up my mind to make a new start, going to California with an aching in my heart. Someone told me there’s a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair. I’ll take my chances on a big jet plane; never let them tell you that they’re all the same.

–Led Zeppelin

And I can assure you, no jet plane is the same. I will be flying on a Bombardier Q400. From the pictures I have seen, and the stories I have heard they are noticeably smaller. Hopefully my fat ass will fit in one ok!

I will not be able to sleep tonight, which is unfortunate because I have been unable to sleep for the last few nights. Home is all I can think about. Home is where I need to be right now.

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams, telling myself it’s not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

I just can’t wait…

Categories
general

Ants Marching

The week ends, the week begins. Take these chances. Place them in a box until a quieter time.

This week everyone is talking about deviantart.com. The community is up in arms because the infamous Yellow Alien has been let go. It is a sad time. What is sad about it is a lot of people are choosing sides. People are stirring up emotion and propaganda to show support for Scott or Angelo. I wish they would realize that no one person made DeviantArt the success that it is, and no one person leaving DeviantArt will be the end of it.

It was nice to be able to have a chat with Mikey, Chad, and Simon the other night. It gave us the opportunity to catch up on old times and discuss this devart situation. It was hardly negative, mainly citing nostalgic references that brought plenty of smiles to my face.

It feels like to me that the last of the originals are gone. We are spread out. We are lurking in the shadows. Every once in a while you might run into one of us, and you might remember the name, but you are not exactly sure why.

Lights down. You up and die.

Categories
general

Banana Pancakes

Can’t you see that it’s just raining? There is no need to go outside.

Actually, I love the rain. It reminds me of high school. Rainy days at school were the best. There was a different attitude all around. The atmosphere changes when it rains. There were more smiles. Even the teachers were nicer.

I am still at peace when I wake up to the sound of raindrops. It tells me that it will be a good day. I reminisce about the days of high school and how everyone is in a good mood. Work is not like that. Maybe it’s an age thing, or maybe it’s a work thing, or maybe it’s even an Idaho thing… but there is not a contemporary love for rain that I once shared when I was younger.

The rain makes me want to sleep in, make banana pancakes and pretend like it’s the weekend. Instead, I do the responsible thing and head to work. Maybe that’s why everyone is so upset on rainy days. They all shared my idea of sleeping in, but couldn’t.

The next time it rains think back. Remember of when you were a kid. Remember how much fun it was to run, and dance, and sing, and laugh in the rain. And, don’t sleep in. Wake up early and make those banana pancakes. At least you wont go to work on an empty stomach…

Categories
general

Feel Good Inc.

These moods are ephemeral, so I will enjoy while it lasts. I like where things are headed. I like my job. I like my friends. I like my co-workers. I have a good apartment with a good roommate.

I enjoy living in Boise. It’s so strange that I could find pleasure in such a slow moving environment. No beach, no huge malls. Still though, everyone is nice. Crime is low. People are not as stuck up or plastic. Most people here have lived here all their life. They have no idea what it’s like anywhere else.

I was the same way before I moved out of California. I thought that big city, beach bums, homeless hagglers and gang fights was all that life was. I was wrong. If only people out here knew that what they see at the movies or on TV is not so far off from reality.

Tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. I look forward to them all. Tonight I feel good.

Categories
work

Elderly Woman Behind the Counter In a Small Town

Call it a lesson in sociology. As a way to help gauge my performance as a team leader I decided today to hand out feedback forms to my current team. Today was my last day with them, as I will be moving on to another team tomorrow. I figured it would be a great way to get honest feedback and improve my leadership style. I genuinely crave good constructive feedback. This was my second team since I was made team leader and my first team in the ACDT call type. I know I have made many mistakes. I have learned so much since I was first upgraded. The learning, I am sure, will never wane.

I expected too get a lot attacks on my “micro managing” and dogmatic coaching. Instead I received a lot of unexpected compliments and constructive feedback. Most explained how they appreciated my openness and humor. They explained how they valued my willingness to help out in any situation, even when I was busy. They appreciated how I made sure we had fun every day. I was really impressed with the level of feedback I received. A lot of my team members even cited examples and gave ways they think I could improve. They were all very specific and simple suggestions. I greatly appreciated all feedback.

Except for one.

One of my team members said I was rude, unapproachable, condescending and had a poor management style. That was pretty much the gist of it. No examples. No suggestions. That is not constructive criticism. That is destructive criticism, and I must say I took it pretty harshly, as I am sure was this person’s intent.

People, whom know me, know that I am not those aforementioned things. I am very approachable. In fact I had several comments on other feedback forms that pointed out how my approachability was an asset to my leadership. I am sure that my dry sarcasm can come off as rude and sometimes condescending. It is a perception issue that I agree I need to work on. This perception is usually fixed by talking to me for about 5 minutes. People who work with me have learned to appreciate this humor; however I will admit that not everyone has bought into it. Apparently the person who filled out the destructive feedback form is not a fan of my work.

This brings me to a revelation. Perception is paramount. We all have perceptions of everyone. Have you ever stopped to consider how accurate that perception is? What is the perception of the person in the office next to yours? How about the person who just cut you off on the freeway? How about the elderly woman behind the counter in a small town?

What are thier perceptions of you?

Categories
mushy

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

On the road of life one can travel millions of miles. To traverse this distance sanely one must have a companion; someone to tell you to “Watch Out!” when an obstacle fast approaches; someone to hum the tune of that song of which neither could remember the lyrics. Yes a companion would be nice. I walk alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I have the strength given to me by Him who saved me. He has given me a great deal of courage and comfort. I thank God every day for what He has done in my life. And I have a wonderful family. I love all of them, including my new step family. I have even made some decent friends in Idaho.

But I need a companion; someone to share my fears and my desires; someone who’s life reflects the music she creates just by sharing a single thought. It is an impossible search. The perfect relationship is a chirping canary in the mineshaft of despair.

Categories
general

Inaudible Melodies

Slow down, everyone, you’re moving to fast!

Do you ever wonder why some weeks fly by and why others seem to last for an eternity? I do. I know it’s just a perception of time. Depending on our comings and goings time can seem to slow down and speed up. Einstein predicted that the faster we go the slower time goes. In fact it has been proven that someone that travels into outer space travels so fast they experience a time differential. We are only talking mere seconds, but still it makes you think. Is it just a perception? Or is it real? I guess it’s all relative.

Life’s moving fast. I graduated from high school 8 years ago. I have been living in Idaho and working at DirecTV for almost 2 years. It has been almost a year since I was promoted from CSR to Coach. Maybe another 8 years will go by and I will look back and reminisce of the simple days of 2005 and wonder where it all went. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it.

Categories
work

Badfish

Actually I had some really good fish. Went to Sakura Japanese Steakhouse in Boise. I went with a couple members of my team, Vance and Tabitha. I went to work to catch up on some coaching logs. They met me in the lobby. Vance had never tried Sushi before, so I figured today was as good a time as any. You see I love sushi. I recommend it to anyone that has not tried it.

I had a great time. I hope Vance and Tabitha had fun. I am not quite certain Vance enjoys sushi as well as I do, but he did say he liked it.

This weekend was much needed. I have spent most of the weekend just lounging around. I am ready for another week. I know I’m not bulletproof, but I’m feeling real good right now.

Categories
work

Nothing Else Matters

Today was a difficult day. I do not want to go into much detail, but there was some stress involved. Some tough conversations. A lot of supervisor calls. Busy Busy Busy. It was good though. Challenges are fun. Keeps me on my toes.

I am enjoying life though so nothing else matters. Good roommate. Responsible. Easy going. Sober. He is a damn good team leader too. I have learned so much through osmosis I think.

It’s time for something to go wrong… now would be the time… when things are going so well. For every peak there is an equal valley. Bring it on.

Categories
work

In My Shoes

I mentioned in my last post about a feeling of transition. I just knew transition was coming. I could feel it. I have been through enough major changes to know when another change is about to rear it’s ugly head..

When Pam walked me upstairs to have a “sit down” I knew this was it. This was when I found out if I was getting made a permanent Team Leader, or if I was getting asked to step back on to the floor as a CSR once again.

When I saw Sherman sitting there it was a source of comfort. It helped confirm my previous theory, leaning more towards the permanent position side of things. Then he proceeded to lay on the table a red folder. Red. Bloody red. Death, destruction, pain, suffering; RED. My sense of comfort slowly faded into the background. I knew the conversation would still be a good one. Every talk or meeting I have had with Sherman and Pam has been positive and I didn’t expect this one to be any different. If I was meant to get feedback, and that was what this was about, then so be it. I thoroughly enjoy any feedback, good or constructive.

I did receive feedback today regarding my interview process and my performance on the floor as an Upgrade Team Leader. It was very positive feedback, and I thank Sherman and Pam for being so kind during the meeting. Sherman thanked me for being so patient during this long and arduous process. He also said that bringing closure to all the upgrades whom were interviewed and had not yet been offered a permanent position was necessary, as we have been waiting for many weeks.

He then slowly opened up the red folder and pulled out a single piece of paper. It looked similar to the piece of paper I signed when I was made an upgrade. Based on the conversation up to this point I was ready to sign a document stating that my upgrade pay would be removed effective immediately and that I was to return to the floor.

That is not what this particular document said at all. Sherman could not help but crack a smile. Pam hands me a pen. Sherman then asked me if I was still interested in the permanent team leader role. The answer, of course, is obvious.

Paper signed. It is now official. I have obtained the Dremel.