Tag: moving

Categories
general

Situations

Situation Number One:
It’s the one that’s just begun,
But evidently it’s too late.

Situation Number Two:
It’s the only chance for you.
It’s controlled by denizens of hate.

Situation Number Three:
It’s the one that no one sees.
It’s all too often dismissed as fate.

Situation Number Four:
The one that left you wanting more,
It tantalized you with its bait.

-Jack Johnson

I find myself enjoying a simple song this morning. I have not had the luxury of enjoying too much of anything in the last few months, so I find it peculiar that I am still able to be in a fairly agreeable mood just about every morning.

I have some possible job opportunities coming up. If I do not get something soon, I will probably be heading back to Utah. I will try to prevent yet another move across state lines if possible, but these things are not always up to me. It is up to Him whom also gives me the joy to get through every day.

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general

Enjoy the Silence

Vows are spoken to be broken.
Feelings are intense. Words are trivial.
Pleasures remain. So does the pain.

The move to the new house is near completion.  Most of my life’s belongings are unpacked and placed at their arbitrarily decided new location, where they will remain until I decide to move again and pack them away for an indefinite amount of time.  I am really comfortable in my new room.  It feels like home to me, more so than I have felt since I moved away from Rialto 7 years ago.

The one thing that disturbs me most about my new residence is the fact that it is so quiet.  In the apartment I recently abandoned, I had neighbors above me whose favorite hobby was to keep my roommates and myself as awake and annoyed as possible.  They honed this skill to perfection.  The neighbors across from us had a cockatiel that would chirp incessantly. I was definitely looking forward to moving and enjoying a new found silence.

Silence can sometimes be intensely emotional and turbulent.  In a conversation between two people, a lot can be said by saying nothing at all.  This kind of silence I can enjoy.   The look in someones eyes, or the body language of an individual speaks louder than any word in any language.  Words are akin to the slight of hand and misdirection a magician uses to distract you from reality.  Words are meaningless and forgettable.  What would we say if we could only speak truths about how we really feel?

In our busy, everyday activities we become so used to the background noise of life.  We tune most of it out. We hardly pay attention to it.  But we need it.  When left with only inner dialogue I am frightened by the realities of my life.  Words are seductively deceptive; thought is abstract, honest and scary. It wasn’t always this way for me.  I used to be extremely satisfied while trapped in my own head, alone.  Something changed, and I need to figure out what.

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general

California, Rest in Peace

I hate moving. Since my initial move out of Southern California I have moved 10 additional times. That is WAY too many times, especially considering I only moved out 5 years ago. That is an average of 2 moves per year. Ridiculous.

I just finished my 10th move a couple weeks ago. Pretty much got everything packed, loaded, moved, unloaded and unpacked in 2 days. It is sad how efficient I have become at moving. For someone who hates moving, I have ironically become a master of it. Comcast came out and installed the cable modem and DVRs a couple days ago. It is nice to have internet back. I was starting to have withdrawals. It is hard to realize what an impact the internet has on our lives until it is taken away from us.

I was supposed to come out to California last month to go to Laura’s wedding and hang out with friends. I was really looking forward to it, however moving took precedence. I hope the wedding was lovely.

Hopefully I will be able to come out and visit soon. I miss a lot of people.

Categories
general

Traffic in the Sky

There’s traffic in the sky
And it doesn’t seem to be getting much better
There’s kids playing games on the pavement
Drawing waves on the pavement
Shadows of the planes on the pavement
It’s enough to make me cry
But that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
Maybe it’s a dream and if I scream
It will burst at the seams and
This whole place will fall into pieces

I moved away from home in California 5 years ago to start a new life and clean up my act. I thought it was a good idea. It took 3 years and 4 moves later to finally clean up, and even still I am not the best person. I still have my immaturities and rough spots.

I have become real good at one thing over the last 5 years though. Moving. Disappearing. Changing. Not only have I become good at it, but I even enjoy it. I like the look of my car when it’s packed full of my life’s belongings. I like the feel of the open road, knowing that when I reach my destination I have a new life waiting for me. Wait. A new life? That’s not right. Have I become so diluted as to think that changing my surroundings will fix me? Shouldn’t I have figured out by now that moving does not solve anything? But, then again, getting out of California was good for me, right?

Puzzle pieces in the ground
but no one ever seems to be digging
Instead they’re looking up towards the heavens
with their eyes on the heavens
The shadows on the way to the heavens
It’s enough to make me cry
But that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
The answers could be found
We could learn from digging down
But no one ever seems to be digging

I leave Boise on Sunday. I am moving back to Utah. Why? That’s an extremely good question; one that I am not sure I know the answer too. It just feels right to me. I am done with the call center supervisor gig for now. I am ready for a change in careers. I want to get back into technology. I want to be closer to home. With the job in Orem, I will be doing what I love, and will not be responsible for anyone else but me. There is a lot of stress I feel now that I won’t feel at this new job.

Words of wisdom all around
But no one ever seems to listen
They talk about their plans on the paper
Building up from the pavement
There’re shadows from the scrapers on the pavement
It’s enough to make me sigh
But that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
The words are all around
But the words are only sounds
And no one ever seems to listen

So many of my friends in Boise tell me I am making a bad decision. They think I am running away from my problems instead of confronting them. I don’t think that is the case at all, in fact I am not even sure what problems they think I’m running away from. I have made some bad relationship decisions lately, and have been struggling at work, but nothing that I need to run away from. This is a good opportunity for me. This move is calculated. I just have to be careful about future moves. I can only stretch myself out so much. It does take a large amount of energy to adjust to a new place and new people. I might get to the point where moving for a job opportunity just isn’t worth it.

If you keep adding stones, soon the water will be lost from the well.

Categories
general work

Between a Bullet and a Target

I have moved out of that house. That door is closed. The final chapter has been written. The book has been published and then immediately tossed into the flames. The burning embers are all that’s left from that time of my life. This is not the first time that I have gladly left a situation or place. This time, however, I am not running away. Too many times before I was in a situation that grew way beyond my control. This time the roles have reversed, and I have outgrown my environment. I am moving on, not running away.

It took one week to move all my belongings from the house to my new apartment. It then took another week to clean out the house. It was bad. The house was trashed. It was the product of people that did not care about anything.

After James got fired from his job and bailed I may have over reacted. I have been burned too many times by roommates. This situation feels different. I hope I’m right. If I get burned one more time, I don’t know how I will react.

But now it is done. I look forward to living with Chris. He just got back from the Philippines yesterday and things are cool. I am glad that my dog has warmed up to him. My bigger concern, however was that Chris would warm up to her, but that also seems to be a non-issue. Things are going great. A new roommate, a new apartment, a new 57″ TV…

During the madness of moving I went into work on my day off to say some last goodbyes to the coaches with whom I had worked. I was told that the hiring manager for the Team Lead position wanted to talk to me so we talked and had an impromptu interview. The next day I was upgraded.

The first couple days were excruciating. It was overload. Now I have settled in and am ready to make an impact. There are so many people supporting me. There are too many people in that building that just will not let me fail.

This is not a house of cards that I have been stacking. I will not come crashing down.

Categories
general

What’s My Age Again?

I have a tendency to not want to stay in the same place for over a year. This is not in any way a conscious decision. I do not intentionally go “Hey, I have been here too long, maybe it’s time for me to go”… but that is what ends up happening. I was in Utah for one year, and then I moved back home. I was home in Cali for 2 months when I moved back to Utah. And then I moved to Oregon exactly 1 year later. 4 months in Oregon was 4 months too long so I somehow made my way to Boise, Idaho.

And here it is, almost a year later, and I am still in Boise. It will actually be 1 year in October. I am already feeling anxious though. I am ready to move on again. This time though I do not have a desire to move to a different state, at least for now. You see, my job is going extremely well, and for once i feel like I am ready to set down roots somewhere. I will soon be going back to school. I am ready to take care of all my debt and get my life back on track. I want to get a house. I want to be responsible. I want to find a nice church and start going regularly. I want to get back into ministry, maybe even be in a worship band again. I want to be that old friend everybody looks at and says “Wow, he ended up doing something with his life”.

I have a long way to go though, and talk is cheap. My friend Nathan has asked me if I want to move in with him into the new townhouse he bought. Right now it is just him and his daughter, Rainy. She calls me Uncle Richie, which is rad. She is a way cool kid, and I wouldn’t mind helping Nathan take care of her. I am ready to move out of the house I am in now. It is not that I don’t like where I live. I love this house, and I have good roommates. I am not sure though how good they are for me. They in no shape way or form keep me spiritually accountable. If anything they drain me. One of them does not believe in God, and the other hates God for taking his sister at such a young age. I will continue too pray for both of them.

So do I move out? I will not leave my roomates high and dry. I will of course give them plenty of time to find a replacement roommate, if not find one for them.

I am not sure what to do right now. I will pray about it.

Categories
general

Smell like Teen Spirit

With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us

Over a period of eight months I have moved five times. The first three moves were quite unpleasant. I moved out of my apartment in Draper to live with my friend Jon and his sister up in Salt Lake City. That lasted for a week. The landlord kicked Jon and me out for no apparent reason. So I lived in a motel for a while. Then my good friend “Handy” Andy and his parents took me into their home under the pretense that I would be moving out in 2 months. And I did. I moved too Vale, Oregon. I don’t need to mention anything else about Oregon except it was so nice to leave that house in Vale for the last time. Getting all of Alexis’ things packed in the back of her grandpa’s truck was its own adventure.

Since I got this great Job at DirecTV, I needed to move to Boise, ID. Commute was killing me, and my roommate who was also working in Boise. So we decided to find a place out in Boise, and we did, and here we all are.

I do not like writing in my journal when I don’t have much to complain about. Heh. Things are going so good right now I’m not sure what to do with myself. Job is awesome. Money coming in is enough to take of the things that I need to take care of like rent, bills, internet, and cable (including a little extra rent to help out my roommates). I bought a washer and a dryer (They are piles of crap, but they work, barely) I am currently saving up to upgrade my computer, get a nice big TV and eventually I hope to have enough money to either get my car working better or buy a new one (I have a feeling that it would cost about the same)

I was making more per hour in Utah, and could never accomplish this. I don’t know why exactly that is, but I’m sure smoking the herb had something to do with it. Now that I’m clean I have so much more motivation to excel at my job and save money, and just plain do what I need to be doing.

I love it. I have found my niche in Boise. Maybe location has less to do with it and maybe it has more to do with timing. Any way you look at it, timing or location, I’m here, right now, and I don’t think I need to be anywhere else.